Enjoy!
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I could hardly believe how wrong I was that day. I stood there stunned by the sight that met my eyes the second I stepped through the automatic doors of AEON Bukit Tinggi.
I had expected to be able to walk leisurely through a somewhat empty mall due to the fact that it was Aidiladha. Heck, shouldn’t people be doing either 1) stay at home & wait for visitors, or 2) don’t stay at home & go visit family & friends? So what the hell are these people doing here!? Forget walking leisurely; walking itself was becoming the complete opposite of leisure, unless you’re a fan of “unintentional” physical contact. As far as the mall-goers were concerned, we were all shoulder-to-shoulder (albeit in a manner unrelated to solidarity). Bang on, say the Brits.
After almost half an hour of pushing and shoving analogous to switching lanes and overtaking cars in KL’s trademark traffic, I escaped the mass of human bodies in the supermarket section and breathed relatively fresher air-conditioned air in the lobby. I sized up my options... and realised that my wallet would only allow window shopping. And a McFlurry. That would have to come last. But first, the Sony centre might have an interesting movie showing on their biggest flat screen HDTV, so off I went to check it out.
Five footsteps into this course of action, my phone rang. Sis. Great.
“Yeah?” My standard greeting towards my sister, brother and mates.
“Where are you?” My sister’s standard first question.
“AEON Bukit Tinggi. Why?”
“When you coming back?”
“Why?” I prefer to know the full details of the question before deciding on the ‘answer’. Just in case it was a ‘trick question’, in the form of a not-so-subtle request for a favour.
“My friend coming over.”
Ah, yes. As ever, I’m supposed to derive volumes of information from a handful of words as a result of my sister’s infamous and utterly incomprehensible minimal-speech-maximum-expectation approach. Somehow it always escapes her the fact that I’m a language student, not a psychic goddammit. I swear, it’s an innate thing amongst women. Fortunately, years of experience has taught me the best way to respond to this.
“So?”
“So I want you to come back lah.”
Aware of the danger of this conversation entering a cyclical pattern, I asked again.
“Why?”
“Long time never see you what,” said my sister, the exasperation and annoyance becoming evident with each syllable.
“So tell her I’m doing my degree, in my final year now. Roughly twice as tall, twice as heavy and thankfully not twice as wide than when she last saw me... whenever that was.”
But my sister, ever the master debater, concluded this negotiation with a statement so strong that I could not come back from it.
“Just come back lah.”
That was not a request; that was a directive. So much for the Sony HDTV then.
“Okay, fine...sheesh,” I said. “Just let me get my McFlurry first.”
Thankfully, the McDonald’s dessert kiosk wasn’t too far away from where I stood, so I quickly made my way there. Once there, I got me my favourite Chocolate Cornetto McFlurry. As I turned to leave, the Malay couple behind me rushed in rather unexpectedly and I clashed shoulders painfully with the girl. Well, painful for her, at least.
Now this is my confession. I have rather broad shoulders, which would look more prominent but for the unwanted presence of the belly, and have been asked to join the school rugby team before (the bulk had nothing to do with it; there wasn’t much of a bulk back then). The point that I am trying to make here is that the impact of the shoulders clashing was such that the girl fell. Although in retrospect, it was probably because of the difference in weight; my McFlurry was still safe in my right hand.
Being a cultured and educated human, I apologised and bent over to pick up her handbag and phone. As I handed the items, she smiled and opened her mouth to say something. But the sound that came out was much louder than I had expected.
“Oi celaka punya budak! Tak tau tengok orang ke!?”
I looked at her in disbelief, only to realise a full second later that the voice was not hers. It came from her boyfriend. And as I looked up to face this boyfriend, I was even more surprised than I had been when he first spoke. No, wait...when she first spoke. The “boy”friend. Also known as the ‘butch’, the ‘dyke’ as well as a host of other names associated with people who claim to be men stuck in women’s body. I was processing this bit of information in my mind when he... I mean, she spoke again.
“Apa tengok-tengok? Jangan tengok aku macam tu boleh tak? Ko ni cacat ek?”
As I struggled to decide which one between the sexual orientation and the offensive vocabulary had affected me more, I could only manage a meek half-apology, half-question “I’m sorry?”
“Berambus lah! Tengok-tengok tak guna tau tak? Fuck off lah!”
At this point, all looks of bewilderment must have slipped from my face and replaced with rage as I felt my eyes narrow on that disgraceful specimen of...
“Bang, cukup lah tu.” I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Abang!? “Dia dah mintak maaf kan...” she pleaded to him... I mean, her, before turning to face me. “I’m sorry too, okay?”
Upon hearing this, it came to my attention that I am in fact in a crowded mall, and that I stand to gain nothing from a demonstration of rage-fuelled brute strength. I took a deep breath, calmed myself down and let all the anger leave my system.
“Okay,” I said. “Sorry again.”
She smiled again. That thin smile coupled with the soft gaze in her eyes that could end wars if exploited properly. Or be used in a commercial, at least.
I turned around and left the scene, trying to enjoy the fleeting memory of her smile over spoonfuls of McFlurry.
While at the same time try to work out how could a girl like her turn into a lesbo. Needless to say, I don’t have a clue.
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Upon arriving home, my sister’s guests have arrived. I have deliberately taken a much much longer route home to reflect upon the incident earlier, so no surprises there. As I stepped into the house, my sister wasted no time in ‘welcoming’ me home.
“How many McFlurrys did you eat?” she asked, her eyes automatically focused on my waist line. “Macam mana nak lose weight?”
“Thank you very much for your unnecessary attack on my weak spot.”
“You’re welcome. Anyway,” she continued, “you remember Haley, right? We went to her house before, remember?”
“Mel,” said Haley, “you don’t forget, I moved to a newer house a few years back kan...”
“Whatever pun, he’s met you before what...”
“Anyway,” I said, “I do remember the name, but the face kinda escapes me.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Happens all the time.”
Haley laughed.
“No problem lah. It has been a while since the last time.”
“Quite. So, you came here on your own?”
“No no no, I came here with my sister. Dia guna your toilet jap. Ah, there she is!”
I turned to look, only to find a face that I saw earlier at AEON Bukit Tinggi. An awkward moment ensued as our eyes met.
“Ady, this is Haley’s sister,” said my sister, breaking the silence which lasted for a few seconds but felt like much longer. “Milly.”
For the time today, Milly gave me that winning smile.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” I said, “nice to see you.” I smiled. “Again.”
Smiles broke into laughter, and two friends were left befuddled by the communication between their respective siblings.
