Insignificant by nature
Yet, at times, sought after
To ease the pain in you
Though in truth, I'm in pain too;
Even if my being shall be lost
For you I'll pay any cost
The price of which I'll gladly bear
But to leave you in pain, I'll never dare;
I am a painkiller pill.
21.6.08
1000 Nights
Song credit goes to: Aqua Timez
"I want you to love me, but I dont think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" only to the one I love...
Do you love me or not?
I don't care what the answer is, I just need to know!
There are many unchangeable things in this world
and my love for you can't be stopped by anyone
As I looked at the road I'd traveled and the path ahead,
my eyes were filled with cowardice
I wanted to look into your eyes, but was afraid I wouldn't be honest
I didn't want to know that you didn't love me
and live the rest of my days alone
That day, I'll keep on loving you even if I'm getting hurt
As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love
Even if my feelings aren't returned, I can say "I love you" only to the one I love
And that's the most beautiful thing in the world...
"I want you to love me, but I dont think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" only to the one I love...
Do you love me or not?
I don't care what the answer is, I just need to know!
There are many unchangeable things in this world
and my love for you can't be stopped by anyone
As I looked at the road I'd traveled and the path ahead,
my eyes were filled with cowardice
I wanted to look into your eyes, but was afraid I wouldn't be honest
I didn't want to know that you didn't love me
and live the rest of my days alone
That day, I'll keep on loving you even if I'm getting hurt
As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love
Even if my feelings aren't returned, I can say "I love you" only to the one I love
And that's the most beautiful thing in the world...
Tag! I'm it!
tag by azie
7 stuff about me:
1) a nocturnal creature
2) would love to write stories, poems, songs etc but somehow just can't seem to complete them
3) enjoys riding my bike to destination: anywhere
4) tend to become attracted to girls i can't have...silly me
5) currently undecided on this particular girl
6) i love the color black...just ask anyone!
7) would recommend the series "'Allo! 'Allo!" to anyone wishing to improve their English...British comedies are just superb!
7 fav songs:
1) L'arc~en~Ciel - "Daybreak's Bell"
2) Aqua Timez - "Sen no Yoru"
3) The Brilliant Green - "Ash Like Snow"
4) Stephanie - "Friends"
5) Hugh Grant - "Don't Write Me Off"
6) The Honorary Title - "Accident Prone"
7) Point Break - "You"
7 frequent utterances:
1) oro?
2) bleh
3) hmm?
4) hmm....
5) hmph!
6) heh?
7) what?
7 firsts:
1) 1st language - English
2) 1st ever gf - dear Alissa (Dec 2002 - May 2004)
3) 1st time witnessing somebody die in front of my eyes - Wendy Wong (Sep 14 2003)
4) 1st time played football - 1997
5) 1st school fight - 1999
6) 1st song album purchased - Backstreet Boys "Milennium"
7) 1st handphone - Nokia 3510 (Feb 2002 - Aug 2004)
7 scary stuff:
1) rising costs of living!
2) death
3) moral decadence
4) torture (physical, mental, emotional)
5) failing, screwing up
6) making the 1st move
7) war
7 valuable people/stuff:
1) family
2) friends
3) she
4) knowledge / experience
5) handphone
6) laptop
7) bike
7 stuff about me:
1) a nocturnal creature
2) would love to write stories, poems, songs etc but somehow just can't seem to complete them
3) enjoys riding my bike to destination: anywhere
4) tend to become attracted to girls i can't have...silly me
5) currently undecided on this particular girl
6) i love the color black...just ask anyone!
7) would recommend the series "'Allo! 'Allo!" to anyone wishing to improve their English...British comedies are just superb!
7 fav songs:
1) L'arc~en~Ciel - "Daybreak's Bell"
2) Aqua Timez - "Sen no Yoru"
3) The Brilliant Green - "Ash Like Snow"
4) Stephanie - "Friends"
5) Hugh Grant - "Don't Write Me Off"
6) The Honorary Title - "Accident Prone"
7) Point Break - "You"
7 frequent utterances:
1) oro?
2) bleh
3) hmm?
4) hmm....
5) hmph!
6) heh?
7) what?
7 firsts:
1) 1st language - English
2) 1st ever gf - dear Alissa (Dec 2002 - May 2004)
3) 1st time witnessing somebody die in front of my eyes - Wendy Wong (Sep 14 2003)
4) 1st time played football - 1997
5) 1st school fight - 1999
6) 1st song album purchased - Backstreet Boys "Milennium"
7) 1st handphone - Nokia 3510 (Feb 2002 - Aug 2004)
7 scary stuff:
1) rising costs of living!
2) death
3) moral decadence
4) torture (physical, mental, emotional)
5) failing, screwing up
6) making the 1st move
7) war
7 valuable people/stuff:
1) family
2) friends
3) she
4) knowledge / experience
5) handphone
6) laptop
7) bike
20.6.08
Don't Write Me Off
It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines.
Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've re-arranged
I was living in the past but somehow you've brought me back,
and since then my life has been nothing short of blessed.
And though I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is don't write me off just yet...
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines.
Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've re-arranged
I was living in the past but somehow you've brought me back,
and since then my life has been nothing short of blessed.
And though I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is don't write me off just yet...
31.5.08
Of death & of orphans
Moments ago, I got an SMS from 2nd ex-gf.
Ex: Salam. Ady...ari2 org gtau x abah da xde?
Me: Dh gtau dh aritu..nape tiba2 je bangkitkn topik ni?
Ex: Smlm mak lak xde. Da jd ank yatim piatu
Me: Innalillah...skrg dok mana?
Ex: Arau umah nenek...
al-fatihah....
Feeling sad for her. Her twin sis is in Bangalore for a short course until July; she couldn't make it back in time. Both her late parents were ill; her dad had a heart condition, her mum breast cancer. Their deaths were relatively close: her father passed away in January. One can imagine how devastating it must be to lose one parent after the other in such a short space of time.
I don't really have much to say, actually. I'm just sharing this in hope that anyone who reads this would say a word of prayer for this family. This, I hope, would also remind us of Allah s.w.t the Almighty and bring us closer to Him.
Thank you for your time.
Ex: Salam. Ady...ari2 org gtau x abah da xde?
Me: Dh gtau dh aritu..nape tiba2 je bangkitkn topik ni?
Ex: Smlm mak lak xde. Da jd ank yatim piatu
Me: Innalillah...skrg dok mana?
Ex: Arau umah nenek...
al-fatihah....
Feeling sad for her. Her twin sis is in Bangalore for a short course until July; she couldn't make it back in time. Both her late parents were ill; her dad had a heart condition, her mum breast cancer. Their deaths were relatively close: her father passed away in January. One can imagine how devastating it must be to lose one parent after the other in such a short space of time.
I don't really have much to say, actually. I'm just sharing this in hope that anyone who reads this would say a word of prayer for this family. This, I hope, would also remind us of Allah s.w.t the Almighty and bring us closer to Him.
Thank you for your time.
29.5.08
Of water tanks & of "service with a smile"
For the past few days couple of days I've been stuck at home during the day because some parts of my house needed to be replaced and touched up. FYI, this house is older than yours truly so one can certainly imagine the condition of it.
This time, some areas of the ceiling needed patching up (lest we suffer from leakage when it rains) and my dad has (thankfully) commissioned some professionals to handle the case. Then there's also the replacement of the God-knows-how-old water tank. No description of the water tank is necessary; I will include a tell-tale picture later on. Apparently my dad had intended for this operation to take place sooner, but the fact that no one is around the house during the day kind of got in the way. So what better opportunity than the time that the prodigal son is at home during his semester break? Bleh.
The men came yesterday to have a look and clarify what needed to be done, what items we would need to buy and so on. After looking at the ceiling from inside the house (which includes the nasty rupture line in the bathroom ceiling) and from on top of the house, they decided that they couldn't start work immediately due to the rain clouds that had gathered in the sky and left. However, they did drop by a few hours later to store the items needed for their work.
Today, they speedily patched up the ceiling, removed the old water tank (making a loud ruckus while they were at it) and fixed up the new one from 10am to 3pm. And all the while I was at the table fighting as Aragorn, hacking and slashing away Sauron's minions in EA's The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. And after all the work's done (and the One Ring destroyed), here is what's left:
Now that I think about it, I can hardly believe we've been using water stored in THAT tank. Damn....
Phew, that was a long long post. If you have read all the way, I thank you for your patience (and subsequently applaud you for your diligence) :-D
Useless yet interesting info #1: The Guiness World Book of Records (Gamers Edition) record holder for the longest ever game title belongs to "The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-Earth II: The Rise of the Witch-King"
This time, some areas of the ceiling needed patching up (lest we suffer from leakage when it rains) and my dad has (thankfully) commissioned some professionals to handle the case. Then there's also the replacement of the God-knows-how-old water tank. No description of the water tank is necessary; I will include a tell-tale picture later on. Apparently my dad had intended for this operation to take place sooner, but the fact that no one is around the house during the day kind of got in the way. So what better opportunity than the time that the prodigal son is at home during his semester break? Bleh.
The men came yesterday to have a look and clarify what needed to be done, what items we would need to buy and so on. After looking at the ceiling from inside the house (which includes the nasty rupture line in the bathroom ceiling) and from on top of the house, they decided that they couldn't start work immediately due to the rain clouds that had gathered in the sky and left. However, they did drop by a few hours later to store the items needed for their work.
Today, they speedily patched up the ceiling, removed the old water tank (making a loud ruckus while they were at it) and fixed up the new one from 10am to 3pm. And all the while I was at the table fighting as Aragorn, hacking and slashing away Sauron's minions in EA's The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. And after all the work's done (and the One Ring destroyed), here is what's left:
Now that I think about it, I can hardly believe we've been using water stored in THAT tank. Damn....
And as we can see here, the by-products of the whole operation. I bet the cats would have something to say about that.
..........................................................................
Earlier tonight, I rode my bike over to a nearby hypermarket (hint: its name starts with a 'T', theme color set = red, blue and white) to get some packs of soya bean, green tea and winter melon tea for the family. I loaded my basket with everything I intended to purchase and proceeded to one of the express lanes (supposedly 10 items or less). My turn eventually came.
Me: *nods and smiles at the cashier*
Cashier (a boy named "James"): *eyes fixated on the items, hands occupied with scanning and bagging each item*
Me: *visibly shocked by this lack of both eye contact and verbal interaction*
Cashier: *continues scanning and bagging*
Me: *waits expectantly for (at least) a "Good evening sir" which never came*
Cashier: *finished bagging the last item, turns the cash register screen to show amount to be paid without looking at the customers*
Me: *pays*
Cashier: *returns change and receipt, then starts scanning and bagging next customer's items WITHOUT A WORD*
Phew, that was a long long post. If you have read all the way, I thank you for your patience (and subsequently applaud you for your diligence) :-D
Useless yet interesting info #1: The Guiness World Book of Records (Gamers Edition) record holder for the longest ever game title belongs to "The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-Earth II: The Rise of the Witch-King"
28.5.08
Of insomniacs & of anxiety [epilogue]
Finally, I managed to get some sleep yesterday!
I guess the body was too tired that the mind had to give in eventually, which spells the end of insomniac me. But here I am, staying up past my (relatively flexible) bedtime again the very next day. Guess some people just never learn huh? :-D
I never got to find out what caused the anxiety that costed me two nights of sleep. Guess I never will.
And...she finally picked up the phone for the first time in over a week! This would sound lame to most people, but gosh! I felt my world brighten up when she said "hello". She's fine, perhaps a wee bit occupied with her time at home. We talked for about 20 minutes; my best 20 minutes of today. Credit well spent. :-D
God, I miss her... (*^_^*)
Could that be the reason I was anxious for the past few days?
..........
.................
...............................
............................................
.................maybe.
I guess the body was too tired that the mind had to give in eventually, which spells the end of insomniac me. But here I am, staying up past my (relatively flexible) bedtime again the very next day. Guess some people just never learn huh? :-D
I never got to find out what caused the anxiety that costed me two nights of sleep. Guess I never will.
And...she finally picked up the phone for the first time in over a week! This would sound lame to most people, but gosh! I felt my world brighten up when she said "hello". She's fine, perhaps a wee bit occupied with her time at home. We talked for about 20 minutes; my best 20 minutes of today. Credit well spent. :-D
God, I miss her... (*^_^*)
Could that be the reason I was anxious for the past few days?
..........
.................
...............................
............................................
.................maybe.
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