I’ve never cried at funerals…but I may be teary-eyed from the fumes of the burning joss sticks.

"Death is the one thing that connects us all. It reminds us that what's really important is who we've touched, how much we've given. It makes us realize that we have to be good to one another."
[Peter Petrelli, Heroes]

"Death and death alone gives meaning to life and this meaning is entirely negative."
[Georges Poulet]

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
[Harriet Beecher Stowe]

On the morning of December 22nd 2008, I received a call from my mom. Bad news, she said. My uncle Ng Kam Thong, my dad’s eldest brother, has passed away.

December 24th 2008, I found myself at the Gui Yuan Crematiorium in PJ.

I took my time. With my eyes fixed at the face of my late uncle, in my heart I said:

“Dear Uncle Kam Thong, I wish we could have had more time together. I regret you had to go so soon because none of us were prepared for this and as such, it has left all of us in this state. But as much as I grief, I shall not cry because I know you would want us to be strong and carry on.”

I took a deep breath. I needed to gather myself to be able to say this.

“Goodbye Uncle. Rest in peace.”

I placed the white rose on top of the roses that everyone else before me had placed. After one last look at his face, I turned and walked away to join the rest of the family. As I walked, Uncle Eric squeezed my arm, to which I replied by placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. From the even tighter squeeze I got in return, I knew I did something right.

After that, the coffin was nailed shut. Prayers, rituals and the subsequent black parade commenced. It all ended with the coffin being loaded and shut in the incinerator to be consumed by those red-hot flames.

I did not shed a single tear at all.

REST IN PEACE

NG KAM THONG (1946 – 2008)
Beloved son, brother, husband, father, uncle & friend.

Condolences to:
Aunty Molly, Pek Yin, Melissa & Gary
Ng Pak Thong & family
Ng Ping Thong (Uncle Danny) & family
Mustaffa Ng Abdullah (alias Ng Yew Thong) & family
Ng Yoke Thong (Uncle Eric) & family
Ng Su Yin (Aunty Sue)
Relatives, friends & acquaintances who share the loss.